what is it

is it a good thing
when I can not decide
what hurts more
my heart or my body

when we cant even find out
what is worse
the pain physical
or the one in soul

what is happening
are we surviving
or withering away
are we living
or dragging a day

how will we go on
angry and bitter
or forgiving and at peace

why is it sometimes so tough
to love myself enough
to let go

what is it that stops me
and holds me afire
and keeps the hatred burning me alive

today
i just may
start my day
with a prayer
for healing
and heal myself

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