a beggar i am

this mind O mine
a puzzle undone
a house of cards
I keep stacking up and arranging so
it keeps falling apart
with a single thought

this mind of mine
it comes and sits at your door
I pull it up
and drag it away

like a stubborn child
stamping it’s feet
it cries, digs in it’s heels and sobs
come on O mind
do not act so infantile

this is no lane of yours
neither does that doorway remains
we lost our companion a long way back
freed ourselves too

we leave depleted, souls void
abandoned the abode of reliance too

do not put on this kohl
do not go to the lane of the monks

if a bhikshu comes today
do not open this door
cover your face with a veil and tell
no one yours lives here any more
no one you belong to any way
your books departed
do not colour these lanes any more

eyes will water up, we tear up telling him off
we may even get soaked speaking so

the bhikshu cries and laughs some too
I could never understand
what does my bhikkhu want

previously callous
today he wont leave
he asks, pokes and prods
his words burn me so

do not utter these castigations
I beg of you O wanderer mine
you make me melt
what do I do
I remove my veil
come look at me
a beggar i am
i stand here
won’t go anywhere
an open book, come write your words
will stand here waiting for you
every day every moment

if my skin gets eroded let it
let life ask questions
you do not leave and go today

O wanderer O mendicant
i bow a hundred times
where your feet touched the soil

be that it may
i embrace your punishments too


2 thoughts on “a beggar i am

  1. It was growing bright and delightful outside,
    the silence being broke slowly, rhythmically.
    Whispers of a new dawn,
    bringing renewed energy in me.

    But… all of a sudden,
    the morning sun felt pale,
    and the birds fell silent
    so profound are your thoughts
    they carried me away, away.

    I saw my baby sleeping peacefully,
    with a deep sense of bliss,
    that was stronger than the
    shadow of sadness caused by your reflection.

    Let me direct the sunshine towards you,
    blow the zephyr so that you feel the warmth.
    I am happy and I want you to be so too…

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