Cut Me Out

Cut me in pieces
Pour me out
Mark me in numbered stripes 
Hang me 
For i am a woman
Untamed 
Wonder how many pass
Thinking of things
other than things I think of
And here i hang witnessing myself
A witness to all of ye madness
The shadows cast by me keep company

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Facing you

Just limbs
Moving flowing
Just limbs
No face no soul no self
The varied selves in me
One is you and one that i show
Shadows touch the floor, untamed
Rods, bricks and balance
Touch, feel, see, hide
Sensuous touch
Unclothe  clothed
I hide I look I hide I see
I hide I sleep I hide I feel
To feel is to open up to me
Strewn shoes
Face the world
Clucking furiously away
And me I sit I sleep
I relax and extend my sea
To feel and face you
Infinitely

Working in Dhanvantri

The day didnt start, the night elongated and stretched in to bleak and pain. Hadnt slept a wink all night from back pain, finally gave up and got off the bed at 5 and took a painkiller
Rested back for a bit and then went back to the daily grind. Cooking, packing tiffins, cleaning the home and then gearing up for a long day at college. 

Took a bus and went to class. Sat till 2 and then left thinking i will just check in on dhanvantri on the way home. Was planning on sleeping for the rest of the day. 

But then dhanvantri the beloved, she pulls one to herself and doesnt let go. 

​​
There was chandana and Yash at site. Who despite being paint spattered had to had to hug. Eww. Friends.. smile makers, helpers, shoulder that one leans on, and pals one smokes in secret with behind the backs of family. 

After seeing the devastation on the site, what with white washed walls, which thankfully some were salvaged by yash by marking out precious existing paintings.

He roped me in to paint an image of Thimmaka, who personally I have very high regards for. In the times of ugly consumerism and capitalism, such gems are making our future secure.  


A lot of the lady construction workers approached us while working and appreciated Chandana who is working on akka’s enchanting portrait. The bubbly girl spoke to all with enthusiam and warmth, a joy to work besides. 


Yash being made to pose by me, and he doesnt like to do that at all 🙂

Osheen and Abhijeet are working on the site too, there work speaks for itself. Their level of skill and passion towards the art is truly inspiring for me. 


We were joined by a whole lot of college mates.. rishi, anusha, griffith, Anand, keertana.. took them around the site and nudged, coaxed and bullied some into starting their drawings. The fact that they love me a lot shows cos no one beat me up. The day that started on a very pain filled note was looking so promising every moment. Sharing water, mangoes and chocolates, somehow while sharing, a single bite is enough to satisfy one. 
The worker ladies strolled in to view my work and said that they like it. These words spoken from the heart are much more precious to me than the grades in class. 

 We offered them to sketch with us handing colored chalk out to work along side us. 


Two of them took the offerings and started to draw. Tiny dots in rows and columns, initially confusing but very soon realised they are drawing the alpanas. 

Beautiful, heart warming alpanas. 

Such pretty ones. After a check with yash, we will include them on the walls tomorrow. Hoping to see them again . 

Abhijeet is working on a kingfisher. 

​Anusha has connected beautifully with the local children. Rishi was drawing a frog around the ancient pond. Anand veered off a bit off topic but thats okay at times I guess. Him painting on the wall is great. Griffith is drawing an adapting Octopuss holding ancient faces in tow. Keertana the great is painting a portrait of Dr. B R Ambedkar for us.
Appreciate the love and support of all my fellow artists. 

Please do check to see what magic are we weaving alongside the bihari and kannadiga construction workers at Dhanvantri underpass. 

In the art Street market 

For a very very long time, i have been very hesitant to put up my works or show them off to people outside the bubble i know. Yesterday, I participated in the ChitraSanthe 2017 bangalore. Stepped into in for the very first time, after a lot of conversations with very supportive friends. They might wanna kill me now on how unsure i was and how much i pestered them for their time and support.
Arvind, Adhya, a few friends who may be very pissed, the framers (Balaji, Sheshadripuram), the auto wala (Shiva).. these were the support system on making it happen.

Reaching early morn, racing with the sun, starting early for setting up – it was all exhilarating.  The people, the ambience of the place, the whole thing, being my first, i guess i freaked out a bit. Was sorta finding it all surreal. The whole day was crazy.

Deeply thankful to each and every person who came in and appreciated my work, people returning and re- returning just to see the art, people came in to help and support, women came in to talk with their reluctant husbands, husbands who went back to get their wives to recheck my works.

All my works went to wonderful houses with art passionate people.  They have promised to send me pics of where they will hang my precious ones.

Some works were bought after a lot of bargaining. That was the only negative to the whole day. But overall it was a good day. Happy and thankful to all the people who made my day a memorable one.







The rickety ladders and working on the wall.

Here stands the ladder i must climb, one shaky step at a time. The first is the hardest to do so.
I just do a sort of a small pep talk ” this is it, either u do this or u quit and go back to moping and being depressed.”
After that the second and third are okay.
Fourth one on it again becomes crazy scary. And i keep shaking in my shoes every second. But then the alternative is much much worse. And even when my head keeps telling me to get off, i just grit my teeth and stay on the ladder to draw or paint.
Have realised that life would be worthless if I wasn’t being active and creative.
While walking back home from the bus stop, it dawned on me that if i were to die now, i would be at peace with that. The constant deep hunger for that elusive something missing in my life is not there anymore. I am not at war with my identity anymore. 

Six rungs of the ladder. Thats all I have dared try. Will someday step on the seventh..

The day didnt start, the night elongated and stretched in to bleak and pain.

Hadnt slept a wink all night from back pain, finally gave up and got off the bed at 5 and took a painkiller
Rested back for a bit and then went back to the daily grind. Cooking, packing tiffins, cleaning the home and then gearing up for a long day at college.
Took a bus and went to class. Sat till 2 and then left thinking i will just check in on dhanvantri on the way home. Was planning on sleeping for the rest of the day.
But then dhanvantri the beloved, she pulls one to herself and doesnt let go.
There was chandana and Yash at site. Who despite being paint spattered had to had to hug. Eww. Friends.. smile makers, helpers, shoulder that one leans on, and oafs one smokes in secret with behind the backs of family.
After seeing the devastation on the site, what with white washed walls, which thankfully some were salvaged by yash by marking out precious existing paintings.
He roped me in to paint an image of Thimmaka, who personally I have very high regards for. In the times of ugly consumerism and capitalism, such gems are making our future secure.
A lot of the lady construction workers approached us while working and appreciated Chandana who is working on Akka Mahadevi’s enchanting portrait. The bubbly girl spoke to all with enthusiam and warmth, a joy to work besides.
Osheen and Abhijeet are working on the site too, there work speaks for itself.
Their level of skill and passion towards the art is truly inspiring for me.

We were joined by a whole lot of college mates.. rishi, anusha, griffith, Anand, keertana.. took them around the site and offered them to start their drawings. The fact that they love me a lot shows cos no one beat me up after the bullying by me. The day that started on a very pain filled note was looking so promising every moment. Sharing water, mangoes and chocolates, somehow while sharing, a single bite is enough to satisfy one.
The worker ladies strolled in to view my work and said that they like it. These words spoken from the heart are very precious.
We gently coaxed them to sketch with us by offering them chalk to work along side us.
Two of them took the offerings and started to draw. Tiny dots in rows and columns, initially confusing but very soon realised they are drawing the alpanas.
Beautiful, heart warming alpanas.
Such pretty ones. After a check with yash, we will include them on the walls tomorrow. Hoping to see them again .

Abhijeet is working on a kingfisher. Anusha has connected beautifully with the local children. Rishi was drawing a frog around the ancient pond. Anand was doing his own thing and i am looking forward to seeing his work cos i have tremendous respect for him. Him painting on the wall is great. Griffith is drawing an adapting Octopuss holding ancient faces in tow.
Appreciate the love and support of all my fellow artists.
Please do check to see what magic are we weaving alongside the bihari and kannadiga construction workers at Dhanvantri underpass.

A day of sharing smiles

Walking to the site from the bus stop carrying my paintings which vyas has very generously picked from the framers and Given to me. 
Back of the painting. 
The framing cost for these portraits was very generously split across with two pals who offered to do so. Vyas and Chandana. Thanks a ton guys.


I see yash working on his project at the wall, and Murali tagging on. My cajoling yash to hand over at least one of the paintings i carried to the kids doesn’t work. 


Rounded up Murali and gave him his portrait. He was not that excited about it initially. Shy maybe. Left the painting near me, to go get raju and Ajmer. I just stayed on the road and bugged my pal who’s work is so amazing although very time consuming. Later the two boys came walking down. On handing the painting of raju to him, he was shy. He thanked me though it wasn’t needed and made me a bit uncomfortable. 


We left to catch Ajmer at his place. This was such a great idea. They took me in to their beautiful lanes. 


On the way they would pause and show their portraits very proudly to all the ladies sitting in the corridor, and i was welcomed. 


I could see a bit of acceptance in their eyes. 


And then I was inundated with requests to paint them, their infants, their husbands and their babies all..

One lady came out with photos of her family clicked at a studio and asked me to take pics so that i could paint all her babies. She posed and asked me to paint her too. So many requests..

Overwhelmed by the energy, i took pictures, videos and smiled. So many women, bringing their sleepy infants picked from their naps, lost to the world and dazed. and hurriedly smartened with quick fingers.. 


shy girls being scolded and schooled into smiling and posing.


 Being a mother with a child who dislikes being photographed, i can understand the kid’s temperament and gently requested the mother to stop. 

Looked into the girl’s eyes and smiled warmly at her, and promptly clicked pics of the reluctant girl. I do not know if i will ever be able to paint their portraits but i will surely try.  


While going in there was this guy who was a corporator and wanted to help me paint. I showed him my pal, and asked him to go help him. He made a face at that suggestion and insisted he wanted to help me. I quickly told him my project is done. This guy hung on for the whole trip, talking loudly and trying to be important. Note to self: do not talk to ALL the people who approach u when u r painting on the street, learn ways to brush off such people. 

And then while coming out of their community corridor on to the road, a man stopped me and asked me to paint a large 2 by 2 portrait of a very prominent political person. That was getting a little too weird for me. Nodding profusely, i nudged Rraju and Murali to leave. They could feel my discomfort and we left, thankfully, and then i sent Raju promptly to his brother’s shop which he was supposedly working in today. Sat a while near my college pal and chatted.   

In the bus leaving for home. 

Home is a bit messy, even with all the scrubbing and polishing that i am trying to do at home. For breakfast gave the kiddo bread and butter which she was very grumbly about. The family expects spicy tasty innovative and complete meals for all the three times and i try and cajole them with bread butters, pohe, dosais, and easy quick meals. A mountain of grumbles are building up in them which will eventually break. I am just hoping they stay the understanding fellows that they both are, for a really really long time.